MrKnowAll.docx

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1、Mr.KnowAl1W.SomersetMaughamIwaspreparedtodislikeMaxKeladaevenbeforeIknewhim.Thewarhadjustfinishedandthepassengertrafficintheocean-going1inerswasheavy.Accommodationwasveryhardtogetandyouhadtoputupwithwhatevertheagentschosetoofferyou.YoucouldnothopeforacabintoyourselfandIwasthankfultobegivenoneinwhich

2、therewereonlytwoberths.ButwhenIwastoldthenameofmycompanionmyheartsank.11suggestedclosedportholesandthenightairrigidlyexcluded.Itwasbadenoughtoshareacabinforfourteendayswithanyone(IwasgoingfromSanFranciscotoYokohama,butIshouldhavelookeduponitWilhlessdismayifmyfellowpassenger,SnamehadbeenSmithorBrown.

3、WhenIwentonboardIfoundMrKelada,s1uggagealreadybelow.Ididnotlikethelookofit;thereweretoomanylabelsonthesuit-cases,andthewardrobetrunkwastoobig.Hehadunpackedhistoiletthings,andIobservedthathewasapatronoftheexcellentMonsieurCoty;forIsawonthewashing-standhisscent,hishair-washandhisbriIliantine.MrKelada,

4、sbrushes,ebonywithhismonogramingold,wouldhavebeenal1thebetterforascrub.Ididnotatal1likeMrKelada.Imademywayintothesmoking-room.Icalledforapackofcardsandbegantoplaypatience.Ihadscarcelystartedbeforeamancameuptomeandaskedmeifhewasrightinthinkingmynamewassoandso.441amMrKclada,headded,withasmilethatshowe

5、darowofflashingteeth,andsatdown.mOh,yes,we,resharingacabin,Ithink.“Bitofluck,Icallit.Youneverknowwhoyou,regoingtobeputinwith.IwasjollygladwhenIheardyouwereEnglish.ImallforusEnglishslickingtogetherwhenwereabroad,ifyouunderstandwhatImean.,Iblinked.44AreyouEnglish?”Iasked,perhapstactlessly.“Rather.Youd

6、on,tthinkIlooklikeanAmeriCan,doyou?Britishtothebackbone,that,SwhatIam.Toproveit,MrKeladatookoutofhispocketapassportandairiIywaveditundermynose.KingGeorgehasmanystrangesubjects.MrKeladawasshortandofasturdybuiId,clean-shavenanddark-skinned,withafleshyhookednoseandverylarge,lustrousand1iquideyes.Hislon

7、gblackhairwassleekandcurly.HespokewithafluencyinwhichtherewasnothingEng1ishandhisgestureswereexuberant.Ifel1prettysurethatacloserinspectionofthatBritishpassportwouldhavebetrayedthefactthatMrKeladawasbornunderabluerskythanisgeneralIyseeninEngland.44Whatwillyouhave?mheaskedme.Ilookedathimdoubtfully.Pr

8、ohibitionwasinforceandtoallappearancetheshipwasbone-dry.WhenIamnotthirstyIdonotknowwhichIdislikemore,gingeraleor1emonsquash.ButMrKeladaflashedanorientalsmiIeatme.44Whiskyandsodaoradrymartini,youhaveonlytosaytheWord.Fromeachofhishippocketshefishedaflaskandlaiditonthetablebeforeme.Ichosethemartini,and

9、callingthestewardheorderedatumbleroficeandacoupleofglasses.“Averygoodcocktail,mIsaid.44Well,thereareplentymorewherethatcamefrom,andifyou,vegotanyfriendsonboard,youtellthemyou,vegotapalwho,Sgotallthe1iquorintheworld.MrKeladawaschatty.HetalkedofNewYorkandofSanFrancisco.Hediscussedplays,pictures,andpol

10、itics.Hewaspatriotic.TheUnionJackisanimpressivepieceofdrapery,butwhenitisnourishedbyagentlemanfromAlexandriaorBeirut,Icannotbutfeelthatitlosessomewhatindignity.MrKeladaWaSfamiliar.Idonotwishtoputonairs,butIcannothelpfeelingthatitisseemlyinatotalstrangertoput“mislcrbeforemynamewhenheaddressesme.MrKel

11、ada,doubtlesstosetmeatmycase,usednosuchformality.Ididnot1ikeMrKelada.Ihadputasidethecardswhenhesatdown,butnow,thinkingthatforthisfirstoccasionourconversationhadlastedlongenough,Iwentonwithmygame.Thethreeonthefour,saidMrKelada.Thereisnothingmoreexasperatingwhenyouareplayingpatiencethantobetoldwhereto

12、putthecardyouhaveturnedupbeforeyouhavehadachanceto1ookforyourself.Itscomingout,it,scoiningout,hecried.Thetenontheknave.,WithrageandhatredinmyheartIfinished.Thenheseizedthepack.“Doyoulikecardtricks?”uNo,Ihatecardtricks,“Well,I11justshowyouHeshowedmethree.ThenIdining-roomandgetmyseatatmOh,that,Sallrig

13、ht,Ianswered.thisone.msaidIwouldgodowntothetable.hesaid.Ivealreadytakenaseatforyou.Ithoughtthataswewereinthesamestate-roomwcmightjustaswel1sitatthesametable.,IdidnotlikeMrKelada.Inotonlysharedacabinwithhimandatethreemealsadayatthesametable,butIcouldnotwalkroundthedeckwithouthisjoiningme.Itwasimpossi

14、bletosnubhim.11neveroccurredtohimthathewasnotwanted.Hewascertainthatyouwereasgladtoseehimashewastoseeyou.Inyourownhouseyoumighthavekickedhimdownstairsandslammedthedoorinhisfacewithoutthesuspiciondawningonhimthathewasnotawelcomevisitor.Hewasagoodmixer,andinthreedayskneweveryoneonboard.Heraneverything

15、.Hemanagedthesweeps,conductedtheauctions,collectedmoneyforprizesatthesports,gotupquoitandgolfmatches,organizedtheconcertandarrangedthefancy-dressball.Hewaseverywhereandalways.Hewascertainlythebesthaledmanintheship.WccalledhimMrKnow-All,eventohisface.Hetookitasacompliment.Butitwasatmealtimesthathewas

16、mostintolerable.Forthebetterpartofanhourthenhehadusathismercy.Hewashearty,jovial,loquaciousandargumentative.Hekneweverythingbetterthananybodyelse,anditwasanaffronttohisoverweeningvanitythatyoushoulddisagreewithhim.Hewouldnotdropasubject,howeverunimportant,tillhehadbroughtyouroundtohiswayofthinking.Thepossibi1itythathecouldbemistakenneveroccurredtohim.Hewasthechapwhoknew.WesatatthedoctorStabl